in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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