Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
