Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
