roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
