My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
