So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
