You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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