If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
