Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(754): View more from Florida

You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.

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(210): View more from Texas

My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.

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(714): View more from California

Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

(951): View more from California

Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.

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