i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
