Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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