Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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