Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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