seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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