So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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