You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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