I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
