I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Maybe he injected his testicle?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
