i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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