It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
