U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
