hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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