True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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