At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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