she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
