I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
