Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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