we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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