So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
