O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
