If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
