you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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