Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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