So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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