MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
