The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize