My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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