When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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