Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize