I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
