Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
