How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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