i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
