I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
