a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
