I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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