she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize