I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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