I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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