You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
