normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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