Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
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Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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