About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
