How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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