Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
