then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think i have herpe
just one?
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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