We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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