How'd it feel making her break her religion?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
