There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize