my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize