My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
