So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
