There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
