So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize