so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
