By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
23 People Confess Why They Donâ€™t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?