Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement

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(847): View more from Illinois

Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job

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(303): View more from Colorado

She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that

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(818): View more from California

I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.

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