Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
