So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
