My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize